New Vocabulary

Lots of new words today. ESCROW! Mortgage...contract...pest inspection. Yup, I'm in escrow! First day in fact. All I know is I am sitting and staring at my rental house and wondering what the hell I should do. I actually don't believe this is happening or I am in major denial that I am 45 days away from moving into a house that will be mine. Of course, we all know the slight shiver and dread of moving and here I am...doing it again!!! Jeezus, I am crazy! Plus, first house buying adventure = I really don't know what the hell happens here. Luckily, my realtor and my lender seem to be bonding over my new escrow status and I am feeling like I don't have to worry much. I can console myself with the fact that the move itself should be fairly easy. Four blocks from my current residence...I'm thinking, if I am lucky I can round up all my co-workers and all their SUV/trucks and just have them shuttle back and forth while I load and unload...of course, I'm not sure they would volunteer their services but I'm not shy...I'll ask....I'll weeddle...I'll cajole...or I'll rent a truck for a day and shuttle it back and forth.

Needless to say there's a bit of excitement afoot. A lovely little house, a bit smaller than my rental, nicely painted, new tile, high ceilings, small (read: manageable) back yard with deck, view of my beloved mountains, appliances included. Phew, I'm getting choked up here...so let the list making begin while I mull over the pressing question of "What about Bob?"

Step On In

Have I got your attention now?
Finally, today I got my first look at the new Dillard's store in the new mall that opened in May, the Sierra Summit. My friend K. and I decided to meet in the shoe department at Dillard's because we both had heard from various other women that the shoe department is a sight to behold in an area severly lacking in BIG shoe departments. We entered the store and this long expanse of shoes lined the entire right side of the store, it extended out to what appeared to be the horizon. In typical girl fashion we both let out a huge "aahhh" and proceeded to browse for upwards of an hour. Stocked to the rafters with cute shoes, reasonably priced shoes, some expensive salon shoes, a few really ugly shoes, and a ridiculous 40 something woman taking pictures. And this that you see is only about a third of the department. I was shoe-phoric. I did, alas, settle for living vicariously through my friend as she bought several pairs. The trip itself was designed to distract me from obcessing over what I hope will be fabulous, big news but I'm not ready to disclose it until said news is confirmed and positive and oh, I can't talk about it....it was a great distraction.
Though the mall is severly lacking in eating establishments at this point, there are several restaurants that should be moving in soon. It is not pedestrian friendly. My idea would be to build a huge parking garage somewhere behind the mall where you can go park your car and grab a golf cart to cruise around the place, or a scooter, maybe a tram like at disneyland....Still, if you just want to pop into Williams Sonoma you just pull up right in front of the store. I'm curious if this actually works on a weekend during prime shopping hours and I'm not sure it will be easy at all when the snow falls...and yes, I am that easily distracted by a room full of shoes, though my mind keep trying to figure out "If the big news happens will I be able to come back anytime soon and actually buy a couple pair?"

Twentysomething

This lovely, slightly windswept visage is the reason I went to see this guy last night.

Had she been here her two aunties would have taken her with them. Alas, she is in Flagstaff preparing for or recovering from a fabulous cocktail party to usher in her 20th year. My niece has amazing and impeccable musical taste and for that I am grateful since I am at a point in my life where "keeping up" is not always on my list of things to do. She played Jamie Cullum's CD for me two years ago while visiting for the holidays. She raved about his talent and his song writing abilities. She was spot on. I am so glad I got to see him perform live and I was enamoured with his music, his stage presence, and his impish CUTENESS.

For the birthday girl, you are loved and cherished. And thanks for keeping the aunties up to date.
But I'm still having fun and I guess that's the key
I'm a twentysomething and I'll keep being me
THESE ARE THE DAYS
-jamie cullum-

Lucky Girl

I want to thank you for so many gifts
You gave me love and tenderness
I want to thank you
I want to thank you for your generosity,
The love, and the honesty that you gave to me
I want to thank you, show my gratitude,
My love and my respect for you
I want to thank you
-Natalie Merchant-


At a certain age I realized how lucky I was. At a certain time in my life I had a gaggle of women friends who, along with myself, were recovering from various substances and abuses. A group of open, honest, raw, and revealing women who did not shy away from talking about the tough stuff, the uncomfortable stuff, unimaginable stuff. Willing to open up and discard all the built up baggage that they had been dragging around and find a spiritual talisman to carry them forward through life in a different way. During this time it became apparent to me that I have a wonderful mother and so many of the women I met did not. Shocked and saddened for others, I was filled with gratitude. For so much of my own journey she is my rock, my touchstone, my best friend. Intelligent, funny, difficult to shock, filled with encouragement, trusting my decisions (clenching her teeth over the bad ones), teaching by example, the best role model for independence - mental, spiritual, financial. Put me through college at great expense and sacrifice on her part. Spoiled me rotten in the process and always, always encouraging me, cheering me on, sharing chocolate and insight. In those early days of recovery she did not shy away from the tough stuff, the questions, and she shared more history with me than I had ever imagined she would. It’s obvious to all who know me that I am blessed by her presence and support. Even better there’s not a close friend in my life who doesn’t inquire about her well being during the course of any conversation. She’s the one everyone wants to call mom and she’s mine. Lucky girl, me. Happy Mother’s Day, Mom, you are the best.

Flowers for Mom

Flowering Pampas grass???

There wasn't alot of talk about it. In fact, it got strangely quiet as the day got closer. D and I chuckled about the silence. It must be a genetic thing that the women in my family start ignoring an approaching birthday. Still, of course, we all remembered. When I heard from her today she told me that those geographically close to her remembered too and suprised her with goodies and presents and this makes me happy that she had a lovely day. I serenaded her answering maching first thing this morning with a froggy voiced-just woke up rendition of happy birthday. And here I post flowers for her to see that are blooming in my backyard. She's the gardener, green thumb in our family so when there's a question there are phone calls and e-mails until I know what the heck to do. Imagine my suprise as I got older that the old sayings "listen to your mother" "mom's always right" are actually true in my case. My mom knows an awful lot and I benefit from it daily.

Happy Birthday, Mom! You totally rock! I love you.

Lovely

This is the latest bit of color to bloom in my backyard. I have no idea what it is but it is lovely and beautiful and has a faint scent similar to jasmine. I had no idea that pampas grass, of which I have three large clumps, blooms little yellow flowers. They are just starting to bud. I've got two trees that are blooming flowers and the wind whisks the tiny blooms all over the yard, pink and magenta dots along the ground cover. It's strangely pretty. Watching the yard come to life this spring is really fun and it changes everyday. Not so fun is the ongoing weeding and the dang dandilions but I am making progress even though I lose interest after about an hour. It's alot like cleaning house, once it's done you can sit back and enjoy and admire your work, the process...ugh...

My current residence is a rental. That makes becoming so fond of my backyard a challenge because it may not be mine for long but I am bound by my lease to care for it, which I would do anyway because it is so lovely...there's a good chance that once I am settled in a home of my own I will try to replicate what I see here because I am delighted by it. I met with my mortgage broker last week and updated all my information with new bank stuff and new work stuff and he is crunching numbers to get me pre-approved, yet again, so that I can start my house hunting. Oy, it is so weird sitting there with him. My stomach tightens and all sorts of strange thoughts pass through my head....mostly just a loop of "oh, is it enough? It has to be enough. Do I qualify to buy a nice house or a shack??" Stuff like that. Doesn't matter that I've done this before with him and know pretty much what the numbers will be, the whole house thing just seems to create a smidgin of doubt, a rolling of the stomach. Then once the house hunting begins...you know there's those nights when you are weighing options, trying to decide, tossing out what you don't want, trying to find what you do want, putting in bids....EECCKK, I sleep badly as it is. I don't cheer to the thought of the process. Who knew I'd be so enamoured with skylights in the living room or a gas stove or a built in microwave. Honestly, I just want to buy my rental. How great would that be?

Dentalship Down

I am always grateful to the employment gods for finding me work. Despite the Nevada Dental Board's best efforts to keep me from working in Nevada I have been lucky to secure work here in the early part of this year. Two offices, like a tale of two cities...one ideal, perfect fit for me, full of veteran dental folks who've seen most of it over the years and have a calm and focused attitude toward the work and realize that humor will get you through the day better than anything. The other nothing like my Minden Oasis. Beautiful office, brand new...appears they thought of everything when designing it. Ambidextrous equipment, spacious, light and airy, comfortable, computers in every room, digital x-rays...the whole 21st century upgrade. The Chief is likable and shares my philosophy. I am lulled into a state of low grade excitement to work in such a lovely atmosphere. AND THEN I got my first eye full of the Chief's headmistress, Queen Dripslobber we'll call her. I knew right then I was not long for this job. Bossy, loud, very quick to point out any and all mistakes as you try to make your way through the day under the feigned pretext that she is doing you a favor correcting you before you do something dumb yet again. Indeed, there is a learning curve when entering any new work situation...I am, however, a fairly bright, seasoned veteran of the dental culture. I can usually figure things out if given time and a few pointers. Queenie, though, she's more likely to catch you off guard, swope in and correct any mistakes before you even know what hit you. She wants it done her way and rather than explain, which would be helpful, she is more likely to just do it and leave you puzzled still. Then she wonders why you ignore her or approach her helpfulness with distain. As I sighed for the hundredth time at the end of the day while she pointed out what I had forgotten to do before leaving and dragging me back to my cubicle to point it out, her comment "Oh, no sighing...it's just tweaking." No, it's petty oneupmanship AND it's only so you won't have to do that particular bit of your job tomorrow. One of the things I realized after 6 weeks of watching this tazmanian devil spin out in the hallways of the office was that most of what she required in the way of my job details were areas in which it made her job that much easier. Sly fox she. However, in my quest to stay on schedule and have a smooth day at a new venue I was constantly hung up for precious minutes on the minutae of how she needs things to be done. So with the alarm in my guy flashing red I gave the Chief my resignation. He was curiuos as to why and I played diplomatic and said the office just wasn't a good fit for me. I know he wanted more but with little knowledge but pretty good intuition about small town business goings on, I figured leave on the best terms possible, word gets around. I am free of one office that could not provide the slightest possibility of a fun day at work...oh, and did I mention a complete lack of humor....agh...who needs that! I have needs people and one of them is a good chuckle and authentic smiles.

Meanwhile, my Minden oasis continues to be a source of fun and a study in how a good fit is possible. There is no power tripping at this office. It's a group effort and cooperation is second nature. So far my timing was pretty lucky in that for the last three months we have had birthdays to celebrate and it is a big production including home made desserts, presents, lunch ordered in and the staff and doc sitting around together BS-ing. My induction into this office was so easy and seamless. We laugh, we mock, we keep the stress level to a minimum and we support each other. Lucky, I am telling you. I've worked alot of offices and have always been blessed with finding the ones that operate like this. It's such a gift. So I await the day that this office can give me another day and I can make it my home. Meanwhile, I think I will be temping for those days I lost with the office from a bad sitcom. That way if I find myself in that situation again I can just remind myself that it's temporary and I get to leave and move on when I am done.